we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
My chin is breaking out a bit and feels all itchy and burny like I'm allergic to something. Are you using a new lotion on your balls?
painting my nails while super high-drunk. Ended up painting my entire hands. Both.
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
He had a temporary tattoo of Justin Bieber on his dick and I still had sex with him
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