they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I remember convincing the limo driver to smoke with us and if he did I would name my first son after him.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Come over. I have beer, your weird ass vegan pizza, and a raging hard on.
Marry me.
so i woke up at six am and his bathroom was flooded. i think i fucked shit up in my sleep.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
Randomize
