when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
googling pictures of Lindsey Lohan so that I know what to wear to court is definitely a low point in my life
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
grandma made pot brownies .. oh god bless us everyone
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
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