even a "fuck you" would be nice at this point.
i just had sex bonerless
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
I replaced his Viagra pills with sleeping pills.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Randomize
