Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
I DO have hobbies! I drink. I drink more. I catfish men on Grindr with photos of guys who are less attractive than me. I listen to Lovecraftian podcasts. I'm very well-rounded.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
This chick just walked out of the men's room with molly all over her nose and her shirt half unbuttoned. She nodded to all of us and said "gentlemen" as she exited
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
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