Heybabeimwearingurpanties
It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
i've lived in the woods for so long, as long as its post-op, i don't care.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
I'll have to explain it to you tonight when i call drunk. It will sound better
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
The more and more I drink I keep rationalizing banging eye patch girl
i could have been the DD. this is ridiculous. i'm the most sober and getting the least ass.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Randomize
