i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
it's kind of nice to have a picture of me making out with someone and actually know who it is for once
I have no idea how to attract men with my personality anymore. He can't see my tits via facebook chat
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
how you manage to cockblock me from 500 miles away still baffles me.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
My moral compass cannot be waived by two measly bloody Mary's
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
This is either going to be a hilarious catfish or the fuck trophy of the century.
We have massive handle of kettle and a rack of hi life
That's the happiest ive ever been at 7:48 am....
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