Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Sometimes he's such a bitch I forget that he's not actually a girl. Last night I asked him if I could borrow a tampon.
He had some in his pocket. That was weird.
I am like the Mr. Miyagi of queefs.
Dude also, my grandma got me condoms for easter and kind of winked. I don't know what to think
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It's like a mixture of two words
"town" and "Im too drunk to spell right now"
i'm glad we've gotten to the point in our relationship where I can eat peach rings off your penis.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
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Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
And I'm glad you're waiting to invite him over. he may have a weird penis thing and then dinner becomes awkward.
Welcome to my Tuesday when my lesbian ex girlfriend shows up unexpectedly and gets me drunk and then leaves
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
So I lost my dignity between the strip club and your penis...
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