I would dunk an oreo in her breast milk
Oh my god you would drunk register for a marathon.
As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
This guy is walking around with a deer head on. Honestly what the fuck
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
It was a shot marathon. It only ended because we werent drinking in our house apparently we walked into the nieghbors. When they got home thy were soooooo pissed.
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Figured out how to triple bathroom speed at #lollapalooza.. Girl squats, guy 1 goes between her, guy 2 uses urinal. Your welcome.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
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