I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
Iced coffee. Banana. Two dumps. Life is good.
Dude this girl just said she'd take me to pleasure town while giving me head
Will Ferrell is probably jerking himself off somewhere wishing he was you
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
You know how I know it's Spring Break? I just passed a car with "South Padre bound" shoe polished on the back. The driver was blatantly drinking a roadie and getting road head.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
I don't even know what beauty is right now. I wouldn't even pity fuck me today.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Randomize
