new level of vanity: sex dreams about deep throating myself...
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Happiness is having a 12 hour day thinking that there are only 2 beers in the fridge when you get home, but then finding 8. Fuck you Monday, this week I won.
I COULD BREAK CONCRETE WITH MY FOOTBALL ERECTION.
If you find me in the bathroom in a fetal position, licking frozen bacon .. I might have Drank a little too much.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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