just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
The last thing I remember about last night was guzzling white zinfandel out of the box and eating cheese. And I was thinking OH YOU FANCY HUHHH
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
Clearly I'm trying to change the world one fuck at a time
you DO IT for the people
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I cut him off because he was changing my thermostat every time he came over
You made the right decision
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
its like probably shouldnt be sending pics of your asshole to strangers who work in the same building as you
Randomize