When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
imagine playing with puppies while we're drunk.
Like... we could film it and put like, "do you believe in magic" as the backround song and it would be complete joy.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I had to hose off vomit off my driveway at 9 am.....so hot
I'm not snubbing your weed I just had a really important rack of ribs to get home to
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
Randomize
