I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
Hey, 'thunder cock' as proud as I am for you getting laid, could you put a muzzle on her? I have to be up at 5, thanks.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
I want to get business cards and hand them to hot guys and say " hey if you ever want to like makeout and pretend it never happened call me"
Oohh. Then yes, he is the Alpha Fuckboy.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
I love that we can live in a world where I can Google "Harry Potter lizard" and an illustration for my dream pops up
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
