her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
you missed a midterm to shack? WOW. How desperate are you?
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
Why did that cocktail waitress get to sleep with Tiger for 2 years, and all I ever got for living in Whorelando for five years is a couple of pictures with Joey Fatone
Just try to lay there and not be pregnant.
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
You made out with both twins? Ten points to you!
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
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