No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
apparently it's okay for him to stick his dick in my mouth but not to let me have a can of diet pepsi for the road.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
This is working out surprisingly well considering it started out with us using a christmas tree as a battering ram
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
You are so predictable. I am willing to bet 20$ that instead of going out you are sitting on your couch, stoned, watching Seinfield re-runs and eating cheezits.
1. they're goldfish. 2 fuck you
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Have you ever gotten so angry that you stripped in public?
This is the perfect outfit to do ketamine in, I must say
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
In a meeting I sneezed and my tooth hit the floor. I don't think anyone noticed. I would still like to die now.
Randomize
