these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
So i guess i slapped the girl sitting next to me leg and said "You know what they say, got fat legs...you gotta fat BOX"
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He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
This is the difference between me and him; he buys you flowers, I buy you a dildo
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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