Let's make love on the newspapers that declare financial doomsday
i wish that i had sketchier friends so that it would be easier to get drugs
she gave me a disgusted look and asked how i could live with myself. because i havent seen the rocky horror picture show. and then dumped me.
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
my head gets it he sucks but my LAME FUCKING HEART IN MY VAGINA doesnt
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
He just flipped the beer pong table and set the ceiling fan on fire things are about to get crazy
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