He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
Its not even 10am and we are talking about what guys assholes we would finger.
The last thing I remember is sitting in a chair and him hand feeding me bell peppers
sick fucks of a feather flock together
Watching him and my sister argue over a rum and coke about who's going to chop the coffee table in half with a hatchet...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
We accept all of your sexual lovers, Jewish, episcopalian, atheist. Dick is dick
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Randomize
