We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
When we ran out of red solo cups we switched to Starbucks cups for beer pong... Who doesn't want to live in Seattle?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
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It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
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On the plus side, I got cel phone video of a major fox news host doing coke.
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
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