He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
i've learned that i'm good at stealing things. like live cats.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I had to physically pry the rocks out of your hands so you wouldn't throw them at the guy with the cowboy hat. You probably would've missed anyways.
I mean thanks for the bj but i wanna forget everything that happened last night between 11 and 5
We got to the hotel at 12AM with nothing but a plastic bag of magnum condoms and lube, while wearing glow sticks. The receptionist handed us a bunch of water bottles and said "These are on us.", not even phased by three dudes about to have a threesome. I love this town.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
did i tell you guys i finally 69’d for the first time last night? just thought the group chat should know.
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