I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
he spent like 10 minutes trying to convince us that he was throwing up in the bushes on purpose in order to cut weight for wrestling
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
I went up by the border of Canada. We took shrooms and went fishing...pretty sure we killed a dragon and ate it for dinner
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
She called and said her prescription was refilled. I guess we are dating again.
Someone is giving away free yogurt on craigslist. Can I get a ride?
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Randomize
