I can tuck mytits in my pants
you know what would be great? if dirt tasted like steak and could get you drunk.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Our professor just said "No class today, go get stoned." A guy seriously walked over and hugged him.
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
That boy has a whole ocean of crazy lying just beneath the surface waiting to rise up, he's like the tar sands of crazy
He looks like a fat version of lurch from the adams family and smells like fritos. This is not the caliber man I want pleasuring himself to the thought of me!
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
She's relieving herself in the laundry room. I'm really hoping there's a toilet in there...
fuck emotions I should've gotten more cats
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
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