how can u be prego again
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
He shit in the bushes next to the pool at the Venetian, after throwing up in the hallway. You really can do anything in Vegas.
I just woke up and shes still asleep next to me with her vibrator inside her and on. Whats normal protocol for this situation?
He warned me he may piss the bed. I'm oddly okay with this.
He had a seizure when i was giving him head. for a second i was thinking i was doing a spectacular job
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
I just singed the hair in my nose trying to re-light a joint. now all i can smell is burnt hair. day ruiner
that is terrible, if I can't drink Gatorade when I'm hungover I don't wanna live in this world. that's like denying wild rams to run free in the wild and frolic
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
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