Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
why does he think he needs to feed/take me out to get some ass? we are at a bar wasting my fucking time
Kind of a slow process. Played 9 holes with her yesterday. Wish one of them was hers
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
I just had teddy grams, ritz crackers, and twizzlers for dinner. Hello, end of the semester.
i went through the entire semester and only just now realized there's a girl in my history class that i've hooked up with.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
You said "i miss him" not "i miss his dick." You're getting emotionally attatched. Shame.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
I'm on my way back with the wine... And a puppy. It was free.
i rearranged my furniture so i could masturbate in the sun. how's that for spring cleaning?
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
Randomize
