for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Well he has that kind of carefree attitude that comes from a big penis
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
So i know i shouldnt being spending random large amnts of money...but i just bought a sword.
You burned the hair off your arms. Again.
It grows back stronger each time.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
just so you know. the medical term for period cramps is mettelschmerz.
glad to know something that causes such misery in my life has such a laughable name.
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
