I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I almost puked on my graduation application. perfect.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He said I was the "egg mcmuffin" of blowjobs. I'm flattered.
There was definitely a significant amount of cookie dough in my bra
Hahah what did you even say to him?!
That I was gonna inflate his vagina with a leaf blower?
Oh.
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Probably gonna run and pray I throw up. Then go get a coffee/bagel & continue to rally
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
She told me the next morning I stared at her tits for like 15 minutes with binoculars from only a few seats away.
Randomize
