Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
This bar is like a mediocre whore house....but free
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
There's a level of bonding between people at the liquor store at 10:30 in the morning that's unrivaled
im eating kix cereal and taking shots by myself. please come hang out with me. im desperate
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
We are going out Saturday. Oh and we might also be jousting on bikes.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
On the bad side I puked, but on the bright side I puked lettuce which was a new experiance
I raided the fridge drunk the same time dad was eating breakfast
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
