no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
you fucking puked into the top of the beer bong while i was chugging from it. when i realized i was chugging your vomit, i vomitted on the floor. she kicked us both out.
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
he had the kids march single file in front of us on the way home so they didn't have to watch him pulling me passed out in their wagon...
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Well, we ended up labeling the relationship. We are now each other's designated butt-toucher.
GO RIDE HIS EYEBROWS INTO THE SUNSET
Got 3360 Shoppers points for buying Plan B. I guess this all worked out for the best.
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
