You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
did i send you the picture of me smiling with the magnum wrapper?
how did operation slutty penguin go?
pretty epic. there was a guy who was also dressed as a penguin. i asked him if he would keep my eggs warm while i went fishing for the winter
Naw man, if he's crazy enough to jerk off on a public bus he's too crazy for me to fuck with
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
Is it completely inappropriate to base my morning after pill purchase on if they sell coffee or not?
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
got a free grilled cheese. Didn't even have to talk about Jesus
I'm keeping both. The way I see it, boyfriends come and go, but a good dick is forever.
He tried to throw up into a beer bottle. It was a complete disaster. Vomit went everywhere. It put the Bellagio's fountain to shame.
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