I just spent twenty minutes with brandons dad explaining why head isnt typically considered sex...can we say awkward?
Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
The sex was great until she started shouting, "Succeed!, Succeed!" Then it was like I was fucking a motivational speaker. Awkward.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
there is mayo everywhere what the fuckkkk
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
I've made out with more people in 2014 than I did the whole fall semester
Let's hurry up so I can puke at home instead of my van
It is such a beautiful day to not be arrested
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