You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
His stupid grin looks like he's mid-ejaculation
I'm buying a pregnancy test with my lunch money. Classy.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
The toilet wouldn't flush at the club so I literally just shat in the garbage.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
