u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
The Vegas crew is in two groups, Team Vodka and Team Fireball. There is no winner in this.
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I should not be this drunk in a place where a girl is wearing a princess dress
We were right in the middle of sex and all of a sudden his kids toy story action figure starts talking "I think the word your searching for is Space Ranger." A literal Buzz kill. It was equally creepy and hilarious.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
Randomize
