I'm so turned on right now it's fucking stupid. I hate burger king commercials
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
I had a dream once that juice was flowing out of my kitchen faucet
he literally just asked me which v neck he should wear tomorrow.
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
Were you rubbing your penis on me while I slept? I smell like penis.
He is full of southern hospitality and I want to be full of him.
Your birthday is now over. Your day in the spotlight has dimmed and now you're as special as everyone else. The world goes back to revolving around me. Good night.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
