So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
he was fingering me, then looked down and said "i like your socks"
it's like heaven, but drunker
Thank you as well. My penis is starting a slow-clap right now.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Apparently he walked into the room and started yelling at some huge hairy dude to get out of my room. Except it wasn't my room... Because he was on the fourth floor.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Randomize
