3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
YOU WOULD BE SEEING ME. IN MY KITCHEN. BENDING OVER MY OVEN. MAKING YOU CAKE.
Wait, that's an option?
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
I opened my bookbag to put my laptop in and I found two granola bars and a pregnancy test. I am clearly prepared for life
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
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