i have a new swear word: supercalifuckaliciousexpialadamnit
Nothing says "I love you" like a full raw dog.
then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
decided to have an easter egg hunt this year. the golden egg has weed in it and all the others have shots of vodka. who said we were too old for easter?!?
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
It's like salsa. But with balls in it. I like to call it balsa
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
Hey. Im sorry to bother you but I just watched the seinfield episode about faking an orgasm and it caused me to second guess myself. Were you satisfied?
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
