So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
wait so...it's like an actual thing to masturbate using the detachable shower head? WTF I thought I was being creative!
Did you seriously take investment advice from our coke dealer?
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
FYI, Sammie and I made the executive decision that we're getting a pet octopus and keeping it in the ballpit. Just thought you should know.
I have straight up perfected the art of amazing manicures with shaky-as-fuck adderall hands. Also, I'm way too proud of this.
I want to just live in between your butt cheeks.
Really though. It's your life, live it how you want
And I do mostly. Which is why I'm now drunk in my room writing erotica
I wonder how horrible I look to customers. There's cuts all over my face and I can't talk.
What are the cuts from? Head-butting the bathroom light fixture?
Honestly that's best case scenario.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
