we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
please hurry. your mom just evil laughed to herself in the kitchen like she's plotting my death.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
I had to help him get his zipper down in front of his dad so he could pee in the bushes. That Is what moonshine does to you.
I taught her to play Monopoly. She sold me her bra to keep from going bankrupt.
I'm at my friends house alone, she's at spin class so I'm wearing her engagement ring and eating buffalo wings. It's 9:30am. Happy Valentine's Day.
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Bud light made chelada as a breakfast for those of us with class at 8 am
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
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