if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
ok now this is the second time he's reffered to recieving a blow job as 'getting his pee pee sucked'
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Things bear mace does not do: repel bears. Things bear mace does do: piss off bears, give bystanders asthma attacks. Lesson learned
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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