I'm a grown ass woman and I'm sitting in bed eating pizza at 4:30 a.m. BFD, right?
hell yes lets make some ravioli
Who were the five players on the alien team from space jam?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
I hope Team Snapchat has been enjoying our sex snaps all this week.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
this strobe light makes my body turn on and off
Randomize
