i said send nudes i get bra and panties. thats not what i fucking asked for.
If it has a penis then it will be stupid. Just how it works.
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
Dude i just want you to know that when i found you half your mustache was already gone. I didn't do it.
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Got it in all night, now at a bar at 730 am and we are the only two people here. Somewhere my mid twenties father is applauding me.
The international association of gay square dance clubs had a booth set up in the lobby of my hotel.
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
I know I'm drunk but why am I receiving this handjob through the pant leg of my shorts..?
Randomize
