Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
