i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
May have caused an international incident. More details after we taxi in.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
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