this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Reason #84 I'm on my way to becoming a crazy cat lady: I called the police last night because I heard a noise and the cats were acting funny like they were trying to tell me something. The 3rd time the dispatcher repeated "the cats are acting funny?" I yelled and told her to have an officer ask the cats what happened.
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
I think I'm going to call this chapter of my life story "Weekday day-drinking in the park isn't just for the homeless!"
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
I literally ate pizza on a toilet and made up reasons as to why you should make out with that boy. I am unstoppable.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Yeah I'm just gonna stay here and spread my horniness to the world.
Randomize
