take the plastic off of my new air freshener and i'm not going to eat you out for a month.
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
That was right around the time that the drunken mess pulled out his dick in front of myself and like 10 other people and started peeing all over the train platform while saying, "Sometimes a bear gets you brother. Sometimes a bear gets you."
Pretty standard Thursday night commute for you, no?
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
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