there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
seriously who else gets carried home puking from a fucking mary kay party?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
We just saw two bitche in pink capris jazzercising down the road. On Thanksgiving.
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
they just got in argument over who had more of your dick pics. quit sending shit to my sisters fucker
Randomize
