Jake was my 1st thought but I seriously thought u already did him... & then there's the getting the clap story... so I settled on Ben for my guess.
I have done Jake, not Ben. But this was fresh meat. And P.S. it was ghonnerea.
Ahh, yes. It's apparently too early in the morning to keep your partners and their std's straight.
dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
Dude, those shrooms u gave me made me remember writing the bible. Fuckn awesome
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
the first cop to show up was this girl who hooked up with our home ec teacher in high school, she knows about questionable decisions
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
Randomize
