now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
I think I kinda wanna bone that ginger from Harry Potter.
You literally just made my flesh crawl.
I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
so after he got his stomach pumped, he asked for a smoking room.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Note to self: Don't teach the naked lap rule in beer pong until after youve made a cup..
That doesn't help it make any more sense. Because now you've brought pinata condoms into this.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
...im seriously confused as to why this doesn't make sense to you. Girl hostage, rob casino. Makes perfect sense.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
Randomize
