The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
closing bar tabs have helped me with simple math in college.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
im tired of her bring homeless men home when shes drunk. THEY ARE NOT FUCKING PETS!!!!
A gay black guy with blonde hair and a gold tooth just told me he would shit on my face.
Now it's a party.
I had to explain to the waiter that I'm not the DD because I can't drive, but as the Designated 'Make Sure No One Gets Roofied Or Hit By A Car On The Walk Home'-er, I should still get the free drinks.
Not sure how I feel about St Psts and March Madness being on the same weekend. I feel like I've been screwed out of a drunk holiday.
My boss walked in on me puking in the urinal while taking a piss. Sunday funday is eroding my last shred of credibility at work.
My makeup looks extraordinary for nine tequila shots, running four blocks, falling asleep with my face in the toilet, and doing the walk of shame across campus in the rain. And to think I'm single.
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
