I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I want nothing more to get stoned and go to your little sisters petting zoo party but I need to have priorities
And you were like "stop making pop tarts, lil bowow" as you grabbed the pop tarts from your ex and consumed them. Teach me your ways.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
She started snoring post sex, so I drunkenly walked 8 miles at 4am to go fishing. Please come pick me up
Secrets from the porn industry: liTERALLY SHOVE A SEA SPONGE UP YOUR VAGINA GO ON DO IT
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
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