Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
you took a scissor and started screaming "I WANNA KNOW WHAT ITS LIKE TO BE BALD"
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Oh my god. We just got locked out of our cabin and went to the neighbor's to see if they had a key and caught the neighbor jerking it. My night > your night
"Accidentally" bump into him after class.
I'm gonna "accidentally" put his dick in my mouth.
They cut me off when I tried to pee in the corner of the bar.
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
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