dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
Just watched my manager erase "we've been 2 days wo an accident" and change it to "0" these ppl are too high.
I'm going to knit you a pair of furry handcuffs. And you said that knitting class was dumb.
I think mom knows I'm drunk I put a full blown balloon in the fridge.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
Got laid last night using the intro line of "rate your hurricane evacuation plan on a scale of 1-10"
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
I WANT PIZZA BUT I ALSO WANT SELF ESTEEM
BUT LIKE WHO AM I TO EVER CARE ABOUT SELF ESTEEM
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
that may or may not have been my penis.
Randomize
