let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
ATMs should seriously have built in breathalysers, I would save so much money.
I think the imperative here is that I literally knocked down a sorority house with the force of my dick.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I was gonna start crying but as he was asking me for my info i saw him eyeing my rack. So I sorta started pushing them together. He asked me to get out of the car he made me turn around so he could check me out and then he said and I quote "okay ma'am. Everything is fine, I'm going to let you off with a warning. Next time if you're not wearing yoga pants you might not be as lucky" I am blessed.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
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