But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
there is nothing like a happy birthday present when you wake up with a bow on your vagina.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
WHERE THE FUCK AM I? AND WHO PUT DUCK TAPE ON MY NIPPLES! MY NIPPLES!!!!!!
Wait til you see what we did to Dave. Hairy bastard will never be the same
I walked in describing her boobs thinking I was talking to you only to hear dad say 'I remember when your moms were like that'. ALWAYS tell me when they get home early. Always
Randomize
