That was the most comfortable bag of doritos I have ever slept on!
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I guess at this point I should stop judging guys on their looks and more on their major and trust fund. Growing up sucks.
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
you called me at 4 in the morning and invited me over for pasta and a late night viewing of titanic.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I think animal control just caught me smoking a bowl on the back porch. Do they have any say in this matter?? Haha
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Why is the floor coated in a 2 inch blanket of popcorn??
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
Randomize
