we're blogging at a bar
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
Going abroad, it was like my vagina was in a candy store... a sweet sweet british candy store
She just took the bottle of jager to the bathroom and locked the door. Now I hear the water running..if the house floods she's paying for it
party gras won. party gras always wins.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
i'm about to tell me dad "sorry staying in isnt an option. i'm fucking a marine tonight."
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
And, through a series of unfortunate events, I am at my grandmothers birthday party in a short dress and no underwear
40s are totally the cure
Its was awkward last year cuz in the middle of it her mom bust In the room with noise makers and champagne
Cover your peen. We're going out.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
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