so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
I wish there was a non slutty way to ask the guys across the hall if i can copy their men's bathroom key so I have one for my one night stands
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
Wierdest expirience of my life this girl literally just knocked on my door at 140am to blow me in the shower. Idk what im doing but im doing it right
You need 4-7 business day to recover from a fingering like that.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
Sharknado 3 is going to bring us to alcoghol poisonign
I'd love you more if you were covered in hot cheetos
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Randomize
