she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
oh right, i forgot that not everyone has a go-to blowjob
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
Guess who figured out you can fit an entire bottle of champagne in a big Subway cup. Open container laws my ass.
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
She's lucky her pussy is worth listening to her ramble about bedroom furniture for 30 minutes
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
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