Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Just had an old man tip me two dollars and say "here put this in your baby fund, you'll have a baby someday" I swear this is gods way of saying GET ON BIRTH CONTROL NOW!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Friendly reminder that on the walk home you tripped but instead of falling to the sidewalk, you tried to save it and ended up headbutting my ex-boyfriend in the balls. ILU.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
After the clumsiest day of my life I think it's safe to say my dream of being a ninja is dead. Memorial service with a glass of wine at 8pm
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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