The brown eye won't let me do that either.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
two more shots til everyone in this club gets to see my cesarean scars.
dude she snuck out while I was still sleeping then was banging on the door 10 minutes later cuz her car was brokedown. how was I suppose to recognize her??
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
Please check on her. She announced that Thursday she'd open herself to any veteran so as to thank them for their service. "my services for your service" and left the bar with three numbers.
where are you?
Hypothermia
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
If you fall asleep, my vagina and I will never forgive you.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
May have told my history professor I wanted him to stuff me like a turkey. Too slutty?
Nah, people appreciate the creativity of seasonal sluttiness. Let me know if it works!!!
Randomize
