3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Eating this pizza pocket is like eating out god
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Just successfully made home fries from potatoes we used as bowls while stoned as shit. I deserve a trophy.
I played "in the air tonight" on a drum set made of titties, and I'm not even exaggerating
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
You know what would make the espn body photos even better? If anyone knew who any of those fucking athletes were. That, and maybe not feature Gary Player.
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
ya well i woke up to my roommate spraying me with windex...
The expiration date on my 40 is the same day as my 21st birthday
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